Anxiety

Plagued by constant what-ifs is part of anxiety.

Do you often imagine the worst-case scenario? You may find yourself in any situation where you become paralyzed by fear, and the “what if” game you like to play in your head goes a little too far.

This situation characterized Camille*, a 20-something-year-old who suffered from anxious thoughts taking over her life. She often shared them with friends and her mother, who told her she needed to just chill and not think negatively.

But Camille couldn’t just chill. Her anxious thoughts were now on a constant loop in her head. She felt like she hit the play button on a tape and didn’t know how to turn it off.

Camille had been anxious about giving a presentation at work for months. Though she worked her butt off and created an excellent PowerPoint, she couldn’t bring herself to speak in front of her coworkers and boss at work. The thought of public speaking made her feel like she was about to have a heart attack.

Camille felt anxious about what people would think.

She was beyond nervous about her talk and what people would think – leading to the what-ifs.

“What if I sound dumb in front of people? What if someone asks me a question, and I don’t know the answer? What if I get so nervous that I barf all over the freakin’ conference table?”

The infamous line from the movie Carrie (1976) played in Camille’s head – “They’re all gonna laugh at you!”

She started to picture herself throwing up while trying to give this presentation and the whole table full of coworkers and her boss laughing at her. This vision was her worst-case scenario, living rent-free in her head.

Fear and negative thoughts made Camille feel paralyzed.

She could hardly breathe as she drove to work the morning of her presentation. She was beginning to have heart palpitations and quietly told herself, “I just want to get this over with!”

Camille tried to listen to music to zone out, but her thoughts slowly drifted back to what other people would think of her presentation. Over the past two years, she had a beef with two coworkers and developed a secret crush. All three would be present in that meeting, and this thought sent her anxiety over the edge.

She told herself, “If I mess up, it’s all they’ll talk about for weeks. Maybe even months.” When she pulled into the parking garage, she parked her car and sat for a few seconds. She realized she felt nauseated within seconds and tried to shake it off while reaching for her computer bag.

As she opened her car door and one foot hit the concrete floor, she heaved and lost her breakfast. She had encouraged her body to go into a state of intense stress caused by the constant negative thinking and anxiety she felt. She immediately closed the car door, called the front desk, and said she was sick and could NOT give the presentation that day. She rescheduled her presentation.

Real change was only one call away.

But for Camille, this was the final straw. That day it felt like her body betrayed her in the parking garage, but it was a warning sign that things were getting out of hand, simply by how she was thinking daily. She was tired of constantly being tense, stressed, anxious, and feeling like she wasn’t good enough and made a choice to try therapy and called me.

Together, we traced the origins of her anxiety back to a negative experience in her childhood where people ridiculed and made fun of her. This experience caused her to second guess herself constantly; over time, that second-guessing went into overdrive and completely took over her life.

We worked to destroy and then rebuild her inner voice, changing it from a negative force to a positive, loving one. Over time, the what-ifs transformed from “what if I look stupid and everyone hates me” to “what if I look confident, and I have a good day?” Camille’s mindset and outlook on life began to change, and she gained helpful coping strategies due to the therapeutic process.

We helped her regain control over her life and thoughts. When she finally rescheduled her work presentation, she nailed it with confidence, and though a bit of anxiety was there, it helped her deliver her best presentation.

Call me today if you’re ready to conquer your fear and take back control of your life.

*Name changed to protect client confidentiality